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Y'all is a normal part of speech so please don't act like I'm speaking Mandarin when I say it.

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You'll know where I'm from Texas City fuck girls away because y'all tends to come out within two to five minutes of me meeting a new person, and even faster if I've had a couple margaritas. And when I say, "ALL y'all," you know shit's getting serious.

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I am a BBQ snob. Real BBQ is served on brown paper with half a loaf of bad white bread, a plastic knife, and a roll of paper towels.

It's cooked in a smoker the size of a New York City apartment until it's the best, most tender meat you've ever had. And a taco snob. Cityy

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Why are tacos — especially good tacos — so hard to find outside of Texas City fuck girls If you want to impress me, find me a bomb-ass taco truck and take me there for dinner.

I'm not fancy, I just want a St. Petersburg Florida girl fucked meal from a place that knows what real salsa is and will offer me a choice of tortillas. I miss Austin food. Texas City fuck girls post shared by Amy Odell instamyodell on Mar 17, at 5: And especially a breakfast taco snob.

If I stay over and you want to win my heart forever, make me a breakfast taco in the morning. I will DIE. If you don't like spicy food, I'll probably think you're a sissy. Mild salsa does not exist in my world.

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My uniform is cutoffs, flip-flops, and a tank top. If we're doing something in warm weather that's not attending a wedding and you expect virls to dress up more than that, you better Texas City fuck girls me in advance. I have ridden horses, but mostly just at summer camp. And no, that's not how we Texas City fuck girls around back home. We drive cars with the radio turned up and the air conditioning on blast.

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The perfect day of tubing includes a cooler full of breakfast tacos, beer, and wine coolers. I have a sweet straw hat and water-friendly shoes I wear for tubing and tubing alone.

I don't understand buildings or vehicles that don't have central air conditioning. Seriously, how do you people live?!

I have seen a news anchor try to fry an egg on a pan on Trxas sidewalk on a hot summer day. Because that's how hot it gets in Texas.

So don't tell me you're hot when it's 87 degrees outside or I will laugh in Texas City fuck girls face. I learned how to square dance once. This is what we did in PE Texxs up.

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I secretly wish I still remembered how to do it. A margarita is my drink. I tirls seriously question you if you take yours without salt.

There is a dusty pair of cowboy boots in the back of my closet at Texas City fuck girls parents' house somewhere. I probably wore them for a dress-up spirit day in high school but otherwise it's way too hot to wear any kind of boot in Texas most girks the year.

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So I know a really good grocery store and it's not Texas City fuck girls artisanal cheese shop with a few sausages hanging from the ceiling. It's a field with walls and a roof that could fit, like, 18 artisanal cheese shops, a wine store, and a BBQ takeout counter.

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Just because I grew up in a place where the high school football stadium looked like a professional football stadium doesn't mean I want to watch football with you all the time. Sorry, not sorry.

Bluebonnets are actually my favorite flower. Nothing beats spring in Texas when the bluebonnets bloom Texas City fuck girls line the highways and look absolutely friggin' spectacular. If you can find a way to bring me a bouquet of bluebonnets, I'll love you forever. I know a really good water park.

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It's called Schlitterbahn, it's the hottest coolest time in Texas, and it's the best Texas City fuck girls park in the entire world. Going home will always be fjck greatest thing in the world to me. When we're there, we're on a strict tacos and BBQ diet, and I don't want to hear any complaining about it. Y'all hear? Follow Amy on Twitter and Instagram.

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Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. View this post on Instagram. Amy Odell editor Amy Odell is the editor of Cosmopolitan.

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